To say I’ve taken a hiatus from blogging would be an understatement. I’ve not only fallen off the blog wagon, I’d had a super hard time focusing on work and getting stuff done lately. Many of you may have seen my post on FB this week where I shouted from the rooftops that I was finally breathing easy; it’s been a long fall and an especially long January.

Without getting into too many private details, my doctor had been slightly alarmed by something she saw this past fall. After minor treatment, she seemed confident that this issue was just an annoyance of sorts… and not the possible cancer she suggested it may be to me. I’ve never breathed such a huge sigh of relief when she told me she didn’t need to biopsy it, that she felt ok about all of this and then sent me on my way home.

And then to my surprise, she called me back this January to “check in on me” and announced upon examining me that she “didn’t like what she saw.”

Whewww. To say that came out of left field would be an understatement. I went home, prepared for the potential that I’d need a biopsy and feeling completely overwhelmed. And then it hit me; HOW had I let something that was so iffy in nature and diagnosis be left untouched for FOUR months? Something on my body that threatened my normalcy of life and could potentially be cancer? I was really angry – at my doctor for not taking stronger action initially and at myself for being so afraid of the biopsy that I avoided doing the right thing. I realized that early on in the fall when all of this happened, I was praying for the doctor to tell me I didn’t need a biopsy – when really, I should have been praying she’d have the assertiveness to biopsy me and that the news would be good.

FEAR. I’m ashamed to admit that the fear of getting a biopsy stood in my way of making the right decision, the decision that brings the peace of mind to be able to function on a normal basis again. Thanks to a few people, one of which was my mother-in-law, I realized my only action was to brave the biopsy and know the results – good or bad.

And so fast forward to yesterday: the call came in that the biopsy came back NORMAL. NORMAL; I’ve never been so happy to hear the word NORMAL in my life. Although this experience caused a lot of emotions, nights of lying awake and being scared and many, many tears, the end result is that I realized that fear cannot prevent me from making the safe and right choices for my health.

So, thanks for being patient with my fogginess this month and a huge thanks to those that left sweet messages on my FB post yesterday. Today, I’m feeling AMAZING and extremely grateful – and happy to be greeted by this face this morning. (Love my sweet angel pup, Madi.)